Writing novels? It’s as easy as…..hold on a second, no it isn’t

My fascinating work of staggeringly imaginative otherworldiness got the s**t kicked out of it last week. I’m sitting at home waiting on the professional critiquer to send me a missive telling me he can’t speak any more because he’s so choked up with my phenomenal erudition.

Not Another Rewrite??

But no, still the same comment on the novel’s basic flaw – quote,amazing piece of work that had me laughing and crying at the same time – but it isn’t a novel, more a series of scenes’.

Well that’s me well and truly burst. Plans to publish the book out of the window, ‘ball up on the slates’


I’m not sure I can face another rewrite – number 3 in my case. And those rewrites were not ‘a touch on the tiller’, those were full blown, turn the story upside down rewrites.

If anybody out there is thinking of writing a book – here’s a top tip. Do not launch into it and write and write. Yes you will end up with 80,000 words, but it will not be a book.

My advice? Write out a storyboard showing how the story will go – remember the ‘hero’s arc’ and make sure the story follows that, even if it’s a childrens’ book. Especially if it’s a book for children.
Once you have the story plotted and an ‘arc’ in place, write the last chapter first – then get moving.

It’s a tedious, frustrating, boring way to do something that should be fun – but if you do not, you will end up with a load of clever writing. A very long essay. An unpublishable book. Something to light the fire with.

Well now that’s off my chest? Where is that A2 sheet of paper and my crayons?

3 thoughts on “Writing novels? It’s as easy as…..hold on a second, no it isn’t

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